What Never Was, but What May Be
by Splinter
Summary: Many years ago, he watched as his family was brutally murdered. In return he was given a new life with four wonderful sons. Will Splinter sacrifice himself and his new life for the chance to regain his past?
1. Chapter 1

It wasn't often nowadays for Hamato Splinter to find himself making his way through the concrete jungles of New York City. Of course, when his sons were younger, he would often scavenge for food and other supplies to keep his family alive. But his sons were now fourteen and the duties of scavenging were not his sole burden any longer. The boys were able to slip into places unseen and procure food that was far more palatable than the table scraps and garbage castoffs Splinter had been able to find alone. That, and with Donatello's ingenuity, they had a refrigerator capable of keeping perishable items cold and unspoiled. Splinter had done the best he could all these years, often forsaking his own meal, for them to have more. It was so much easier now with teenagers to share the workload.

This evening, however, he had gathered his four sons and declared it to be time for a training run. He sons knew to hide themselves from any human who might be passing by. But there was only so much agility that they could practice in the small confines of their lair. He needed to get them out onto the streets, or rather above the streets, to practice traversing the city. They were excited, as any teenager with limited freedoms would be, and keeping them focused and centered was a full-time task. Finally Splinter called an end to the lesson and allowed them some time to burn off energy. They raced each other to the next roof top, making a game of the jump, challenging each other to do more complicated acrobatic feats. The trick was to keep silent while doing it. A task his youngest was struggling with as he whooped and hollered while crossing one roof to the other in a series of tumbles and flips.

His eldest son lingered behind his brothers, keeping pace with his father, giving the rat a small sympathetic smile. His sons knew to stay within his eyesight, but this one for some reason chose not to engage in the games of his brothers. He was already so serious for such a young teenager.

"My son," Splinter said finally. "Why do you not join your brothers in their fun?"

Leonardo turned slightly to regard the rat and then just shook his head. "Someone should stay back here with you, Sensei."

Splinter's eyes furrowed for a moment before understanding lit them. "Why is that, Leonardo? "

It was hard to squirm while running, but Leo did his best to attempt it at the direct question. "I…I think…I mean…it seems rude to just leave you behind while we…"

Splinter gave his son a look and then picked up the pace to sprint past him. The rat overtook Raphael and Donatello at the next leap to perform three somersaults with a full lay out before landing in a three-point stance by his youngest son. Michelangelo's eye ridges raised and then he burst out into applause.

"Encore!" he crowed as his brothers caught up to them.

"Whoa, Master Splinter," Raphael laughed. "Where you been hidin those moves?"

Splinter gave them an enigmatic smile. "My sons, I am not as old as you believe I am."

Leonardo looked chagrined at his assumptions about Splinter's abilities. "I don't think we ever asked, Sensei. How old WERE you when you were mutated?"

Splinter considered that question. As a rat, he had little concept of the passage of time. He did remember that in his life as a rat, he had seen one _Obon_ festival pass, while perched on the shoulder of Hamato Yoshi. "I am not sure, Leonardo. Less than a year definitely."

You could see his sons' minds being blown at this piece of information.

"Dude…Sensei is like a teenager," Mike said in disbelief.

Splinter blinked and then shook his head. "Not quite, Michelangelo. "

"Rats don't age like humans do; or turtles for that matter," Donatello remarked. But anyone could see that the subject interested him. "At less than a year, Splinter might have technically been a juvenile when mutated, but an adult now."

Splinter thought back to his life as a pet of Hamato Yoshi and Tang Shen; another lifetime ago. There were some things that he could remember as if it happened yesterday. But other memories were as elusive as a dream. When he was first mutated, trying to care for four infants, and he himself was starving, cold and miserable, he would try to call upon those memories as a way to sustain him. His life with Yoshi had been much simpler and, in some ways, happier, despite his status as a common rat.

He shook himself from those times and focused on the thriving teenagers before him. "I received a crash course in infant care, that is true, My Sons." And in turn "grew up" rather quickly. "But that was another life ago. For now, my point remains. I have taught you much, but I am still the Master." He gave a small, wry grin, which his sons whole heartedly returned.

"Come, it is time that we…"

A shriek of fright suddenly pierced the night and as one, the family of ninjas ran to the edge of the rooftop to peer into the alleyway below.

"Stay here, My Sons," Splinter directed going toward the fire escape. "I will return momentarily."

His sons looked at each other and gave chase to their father.

"Sensei, we can help," Leo said. "You've trained us to…"

Splinter shook his head. " _Ie_ ," slipping into his native tongue to give his students a direct order. "You will remain here. I will not be long." With that final order, the rat slipped over the side of the rooftop. He nimbly made his way down the fire escape and into the alley below. It would not have been the first time Splinter rescued a human from some type of criminal. He preferred to stay out of the affairs of those on the surface, but his honor would not allow an innocent person to come to harm if he could help it. Splinter sniffed the air and glanced around. The smell of humans was all around him, but there was another smell. It was something different and peculiar; not human or any animal he had ever encountered.

Whoever had made the shrieking sound was gone now. In the alleyway, Splinter was still well hidden from humans passing by and in a city the size of New York, one shriek did not call anyone's attention. With one more quick glance around the alley, he turned to make his way back up to his sons. It was getting late, and there was no way to find the person who may have been in trouble. Before he could scale the ladder back towards the top of the roof, his ears pricked up in alarm. The smell of the Other was stronger and felt acutely aware that he was being watched. Better to go now and quickly before he could be discovered. The ninja rat was silent as he grabbed the ladder, but a hand grasped his shoulder and yanked him backwards sending him crashing into the far wall.

Splinter choked back his own cry of alarm, his teeth clacking together at the impact. Instantly in battle mode and ready to defend himself and escape, Splinter launched himself toward the assailant. Even as he attacked, he noticed something even more off about the man than his smell; even more than the ring of tattoos circling the man's face and the imposing stature. The man's eyes glowed a brilliant blue. Splinter's eyes widened, and he tried to pull back his attack. Better to flee! But the man shot forward and caught Splinter in a vice-like grip. Splinter was unable to look away from the man's glowing eyes. He struggled ineffectively, thinking of his sons not so far away.

"You're different," the man growled low. He raised his hand which also began glowing the same blue. "You're different. But you'll do." Splinter fought against the grip as best he could, but the strength of this man was overwhelming. He growled, feeling the hand touch his forehead…

Splinter awoke with a gasp, shooting up into a seated position, breathing heavily. He looked around wildly. The room was bathed in darkness and his eyes were taking longer to adjust.

"Shhh," a warm feminine voice soothed, a hand lightly touching his head, as she seated herself beside him. The hand gave way to a cool cloth pressed against the same spot that Splinter recognized as being injured. Splinter jerked away. How had he not sensed another presence in the room with him, much less one so close!

"Settle yourself, Kakera," the woman's voice said again. "You were injured in training today."

Kakera? Kakera! Splinter turned to look at the woman so close to him, his hands coming up to fend her off. His heart hammered in his chest as he searched for answers to his confusion. "Who…?" He needed to get away! Find his sons!

The woman backed off slightly and gave him a warm smile. "Just try to relax, My Son. It will all come back to you in a moment. You were training with the masters earlier and took a blow to the head. You have been unconscious all evening."

Splinter blinked wildly at her, even as his mind supplied the identity of this woman. His breath came out in a short exhale, and his eyes rounded in surprise.

"SHEN!?"

(This characters in this fic that are not canon are the brain child of mine and my RP partner Machias Banshee and based loosely on some of our RPs. So, we are going to have to suspend some belief that people in Japan will be speaking English. I do not know Japanese, and even if I did, I'd rather not spend so much time trying to translate. That being said…)

Kakera: Splinter

Ie: No


	2. Chapter 2

(So just a little reminder. There are some incarnations of TMNT where Splinter was a pet rat of Yoshi's. The 4Kids series had a little bit deeper look at Hamato Yoshi, Tang Shen, and also the Ancient One. Splinter lived with them before going with Yoshi to New York after Shen's death. This story will kind of be AU as Splinter, Shen, Yoshi, the Ancient One and Oroku Saki will have backs stories that were never in any comic or series. And while this story will primarily be about Splinter, his sons will be in it as well. Never fear! )

Splinter moved back away from the woman as if her very touch burned him. The futon that he was currently laying on didn't provide much room, but he pushed himself back against the wall, even as his mind furiously tried to figure out how a woman, many years dead, was sitting in front of him.

"Where am I? How are you here?" Splinter demanded, his voice creeping up into a voice that is slightly less than panicked. He tried to force himself into a calmer state, but his mind was whirling in confusion.

The woman moved back a bit from the bed, setting the washcloth down into a bowl on the beside stand. She looked at him, worry very apparent in her soft brown eyes. "You are in your bed, Kakera," she said quietly, her voice just barely above a whisper. "One of the master's brought you home after the accident."

"My room?" Splinter turned his head scanning the room. The room was familiar but at the same time, he couldn't remember ever having been in it. Wooden walls adorned the entire room and the hardwood floors shone as if they were freshly waxed. The room was sparsely decorated with painted pictures and smaller statuettes. A pair of katana crisscrossed the far wall, with another set leaned up against the corner. Moonlight streamed in through the windows along with a breeze that smelled faintly of cherry blossoms. "What accide…." He broke off from his question and turned to stare at her again. "Shen?!"

"Since when do you refer to me as Shen?" The woman wrung out the washcloth again and tried to set it on the knot on Splinter's head.

Splinter pulled away. His hand coming up to push her hand back, albeit gently.

She pulled her hand back to regard him carefully. "Kakera, are you alright? Perhaps I should call the Healer?"

Splinter shook his head. "Shen…"

"Okaasan," Shen corrected mildly.

Splinter's stomach fell, and his eyes widened in shock. In his mind, he had referred to Shen as his mother hundreds of times. Never had he done so out loud, not even to his sons. His SONS! The rat threw back the blankets that were covering him, belatedly thankful that he was wearing gi pants and a kimono top. He swung his legs over the side of the futon and got quickly to his feet, putting one hand to his head as the injury throbbed.

He turned on the woman who looked as confused as he felt, but her eyes radiated a concern so deeply that it made Splinter's heart pound. It was a concern that parent would feel for a child who was injured or sick. A concern of a mother for her…NO! Shen was dead. This was not real.

"Where are my sons?" Splinter demanded. He looked around the room, looking for an avenue of escape.

Shen got to her feet, stepping cautiously toward him. "Kakera, you are speaking nonsense. You have no children. Please, let me call the Healer. Something is obviously wrong…"

"NO!" Splinter all but yelled, and instantly felt guilty at the way Shen flinched back from his anger, but he wouldn't be deterred. He would not be held against his will by this double of a maternal figure long dead. "Where are they? Where am I? Why have you taken me against my will?"

As he spoke, he circled the bed toward the door. The woman didn't try to stop him, and even kept a distance between the two of them. Her expression was one of worry and perhaps a bit of fear. "What are you speaking of, Kakera? This is your home. Please just sit down and rest. I am sure it will all come back to you. You must have been dreaming…"

Splinter's eyes darkened, and a growl rose up in his chest. "You dare to impersonate a dead woman to gain my sympathies." His hand reached back to handle of the door, but his eyes were on the woman. "Pray I never find out how you did this sorcery…." He opened the door and turned to leave but nearly collided with the body of a man that was a good 6 inches taller than him.

Splinter stumbled back, his eye widening at the Japanese man that he'd nearly run into. The short dark hair (with flecks of grey), the brown eyes, the serene expression was so familiar and so startling that Splinter nearly fainted. While seeing Shen was mind boggling, seeing Hamato Yoshi in the flesh was downright terrifying. The man who he adored as a small pet rat, and whose shoulder he rode on daily as Yoshi went about his life, the man who DIED right in front of his eyes, was now staring at Splinter with an expression that said SPLINTER was acting strange.

"Hamato Kakera." The voice. Gods, the voice! "Why am I hearing shouting from down the temple hallway?" Yoshi's eyes went from Splinter's face to Shen's and then back again.

"Yoshi Love," Shen implored. "Something is not quite right. He does not know where he is. He insists that we have taken him from his children."

Splinter still hadn't recovered from this new shock, and he still had not taken his eyes from Yoshi. The Japanese man's expression softened just slightly as he turned his full attention back to Splinter. "I was told you were struck hard, but not so hard to cause memory issues," Yoshi said. "Kakera, sit down. You look as if you are about to fall down."

Splinter backed into the bed and sat. It never occurred to him, could never occur to him to disobey that voice. Even as a pet, when Yoshi called to him, Splinter immediately complied. The man just commanded that type of obedience. Yoshi walked over to him and examined the wound on his head. Enthralled by what was happening, Splinter never looked away from Yoshi's face. He tried to remember every detail from the last time he'd seen Yoshi alive.

Yoshi was older than he remembered. The flecks of grey in his hair, the fine lines around his eyes and face were not there before. But everything else…everything was the same.

Yoshi stared into Splinter's eyes, frowning a bit. "Perhaps a concussion. We can send for the Healer. Kakera, what is the last thing you remember?"

Splinter blinked rapidly, his mind working furiously to capture his last memory. "A training run. I went to assist someone and then…." He trailed off. The man who looked like Yoshi was standing close to him. Too close.

 _Focus Splinter! You cannot be so caught up in nostalgia that you forget you are prisoner!_

Splinter rocketed to his feet quickly and side stepped left to evade the duplicate Yoshi. "I do not know how you have done this." He took a quick glance to the open door and hurried out before he could be stopped.

As he ran through the hallways trying to find his way out, Splinter just knew that he ha d seen this place somewhere before. He didn't know who had captured him, but he assumed they used Yoshi and Shen body doubles to lure him into a trap. The rat sensei turned left (why did he know this was the way out?) and slipped through a back corridor. He found his way to a door and burst through into an expansive courtyard.

The trees in the courtyard were indeed cherry trees, and Splinter could hear the koi pond in the distance. He also knew that to the right there was another building that housed the dojo. Straight ahead, he would run into the perimeter wall. A wall that he could easily scale, and it was only a short distance from there to the local village. Splinter knew all this because he had been here before. He had lived here before. This was the Hamato temple in Chihaya, Japan. This was where he had lived with Hamato Yoshi, Tang Shen, and the Ancient One before he had been mutated. He knew this place because it was home.

Splinter felt rather than saw Hamato Yoshi and Tang Shen come up behind him. No guards or soldiers came to capture him or to drag him back to a cell. Just the two of them approaching cautiously, not out of concern that he would attack, but out of concern for his current state of mind.

"Kakera," Shen ventured carefully. Splinter turned to them, and he could see that Shen was reaching for him slowly.

"How have you done this," Splinter breathed in awe. Was it possible he was dreaming? But he could feel the pounding of his head, the grass beneath his feet and the wind through the fur. How could a dream feel so real? Another possibility occurred to him and his heart nearly broke. "Have I died? Is this my afterlife?"

Shen looked stricken and she withdrew her hand before turned to look at Yoshi.

Yoshi shook his head. "Kakera. You have not died. You have lived here with your Mother and I since your mutation fourteen year ago. Do you not remember?"

He had mutated fourteen years ago with his sons. He remembered that. But living here with Yoshi and Shen, no. That wasn't how it happened. Was it?

"Apparently the blow you took in training gave you some sort of amnesia," Yoshi continued carefully. "We can explain everything, My Son."

Splinter exhaled slowly, looking around the courtyard. He did remember this place. But his memories were that of his unmutated self. He touched the lump on his head and quickly drew away his hand. Amnesia? Was it possible?

He looked up at Yoshi. Yoshi had called him his son. Shen referred to herself as his mother. This family that he had thought…dreamed was killed so violently was standing right before him imploring for his understanding and concerned for his well-being. Splinter's shoulders fell slightly and he nodded.

"Hai. Otousan."


	3. Chapter 3

Four turtles stood immobilized on the roof, still sweaty and sore from their training run with their father. He had only vanished over the side of the building ten minutes prior, but they were struck with indecision on what to do when he hadn't returned promptly.

Mikey leaned as far down over the building as he could, peering into the darkened alleyway below, but he couldn't make out anything or anyone. His genius brother gripped his belt to prevent him from toppling head first towards the ground and gave a hard yank to pull him back up.

"Hey, wait! I'm trying to see!" Mike protested as he stumbled back into Don.

Donatello pushed him gently away. "The only thing you're going to see is your head cracked open when you fall."

Mike poked his tongue out at his brother. "I'm a ninja. We always land on our feet."

"That's a cat, not a ninja!" Don retorted exasperatedly.

"Guys!" Leo interrupted their arguing. "We are ninja. And that means silence." He too peered over the side of the building though at a safer distance than his younger brother had. "I don't see anything. Or hear anything."

Leaning against the wall a few feet away, Raph jammed his sai into his belt. " 'xactly! That's why we shoulda followed him down like I said ten minutes ago." He pushed off the wall and headed for the fire escape his father had used previously.

"Where are you going?" Leo asked. "Sensei said to stay put."

Raph shrugged. "Yeh well, he aint here. We can't stay up here all night waiting for him to come back. What if something happened?"

Mike's blue eyes widened in alarm. "Do you think something happened to him?"

"Sensei can take care of himself, Mikey," Don said putting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure he's fine."

But Mike's imagination was already off and running. "Yeh but what if he got carried away by like an alien or something; like in that movie? Oh! Oh! And he comes back as a pod person, but like, we don't know the difference. And then he wants to take us to his home planet because turtle soup is a rare treat…"

Leo and Raph ignored their youngest brother's rambling and turned their attention back to the fire escape. Poor Don was stuck between listening to Mike and trying to stop his yammering.

"This might be a test," Leo said. "To see if we will be obedient while we're topside. If we disobey, it could be a long time before he lets us come back up."

"OR," Raph countered. "He could be testing us to see if we can make decisions for ourselves. I say we go after him."

"Do you think we could taste like chocolate to the aliens?" Mike was asking Don.

Raph saved Don from having to respond to Mike. "Majority rules, Brainiac. Do we stay or go?"

Leonardo sighed and waited on his brothers' answer. This would be a good time to have a designated leader. And while Sensei had said numerous times that one day he would assign someone the job permanently, it hadn't happened yet. The brothers often took turns when out on scavenging hunts on playing the part of the leader. Truth be told, Leo and Raph were the ones who took control most often. Mike and Don tended to get distracted. Donatello by scavenging for his lab, and Mike by just about everything else. Both younger brothers were more than capable, but their priorities just weren't in line with leading. So, the job fell to the two oldest brothers more often than not. On the days when Splinter didn't assign a particular leader, they all agreed that majority rules. In the rare event where there was a tie, it was a rock, paper, scissors affair. Although, rock, paper, scissors among four teenage ninja brothers could get messy.

Donatello looked between his brothers thoughtfully. "I think we should investigate."

"Same!" Mike agreed. He was practically bouncing with excitement at venturing down to the street level; a place they had only been a handful of times in their lives.

Raph glanced to Leo with a smug expression. "Three against one. Sorry, Bro." As it was his idea, Raph took the point and headed back to the fire escape with his brothers in tow. Two of them enthusiastically and one reluctantly.

Leo took up the rear and cautioned quietly. "We don't make any contact with humans."

"And here I was ready to go streaking down Fifth Avenue," Raph scoffed sarcastically.

"Dude," Mike breathed. "Don't even joke about that. Can you picture Raph running in the buff down the street? Like…people would be throwing up all over the place."

"Shut it, Mike," Raph snapped making his way down the side of the building.

"I think we all agree that we're just going to make sure Sensei is alright, Leo." Don interjected, ever the peacemaker.

The brothers made it to street level without further incident, but they were surprised to not see any sign of their father. Mike's face reflected the dread that each brother felt as he asked. "Where is he?"

The two oldest exchanged a look, but neither one wanted to say what came to mind.

"Mikey," Leo whispered. "Keep watch. Make sure you let us know if anyone is coming this way. Don, Raph, fan out and look for any sign of Sensei. Maybe he's testing our tracking skills." The last sentence was more for Mike's benefit than anything else. Their father would test their skills often and without notice. But never had he abandoned them topside for the sake of a test. Their father was always too concerned about humans seeing them to do something so dangerous.

Mike hurried to the shadows near the edge of the alley way to keep watch while the other brothers fanned out to search for any sign as to where their Father could have gone.

A shrill whistle broke the minute of silence and alerted Leo and Raph that Don had found something. "It's Sensei's cane," Don whispered kneeling down to pick it up carefully. He looked up at his oldest brothers with a fearful look in his eyes. "And look against the wall."

Raph turned putting one hand against the wall. He brought it back to his face slowly. Blood was on his fingers and small brown hairs. He had cleaned the shower drains at home enough to know what Splinter's fur looked like. He felt a white hot anger begin in his belly and start to boil up towards the surface. Someone had hurt their father.

"Raph," Leo said putting a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Raphael." He shuddered a little when Raph turned his eyes to him. The fear and panic that he saw was nearly overwhelming. "You gotta keep it together." For their brothers. But that part went unsaid. Leo had to stop Raphael from exploding, because once that volcano erupted there was no going back. Beneath Leo's hand, Raphael trembled with suppressed fury. His fists were clenched until the knuckles turned white.

"Hey, hey hey," Mike's voice was quiet as he hurried over to his brothers. "No one is on the streets so we should be…" He trailed off as he came up to his brothers. "What's wrong?" He looked to where Don was just now standing up with the walking stick in his hand.

"Is that Sensei's?" Mike asked, his voice creeping up an octave. Looking left and right from one brother to another, Mike instantly felt like the bottom dropped out of his stomach at their expressions.

Raph literally shook himself and wiped his hands against the wall. "Mikey. Mikey. Look at me." His littlest brother's desperation and panic was palpable, even without the haunted look he turned to Raph. "We'll find him. Ok?" He pushed Mike's shoulder. "Donny'll help you keep look out while me and Leo scout around some more."

Don hesitantly walked over and put an arm around Mike guiding him back toward his look out spot. Part of him was angry about being relegated to lookout but he knew that it was mostly for Mike's benefit. Mikey would calm down eventually, but with everything so fresh, there was a small chance he would start freaking out. It was better to give him a few minutes.

Leo waited until the others were out of earshot before turning to Raph. "Are you alright?"

Raph exhaled and nodded. He glanced back to the wall and then down to the ground. He was the best tracker of them all. If Sensei left any kind of trail for them to follow he would find it. "There aint much of a bl…blood trail," Raph said. It was hard to track in the dark, but years of learning to track underground was paying off. "If that blood's his, then he hit the wall hard."

Leo chewed on his lip trying to find his center like Splinter had taught them. He didn't want his voice to waiver as he spoke. "He might have hit his head. Head wounds bleed even without being serious."

"Yeh. Head wounds are a bitch." He ignored the look Leo gave him for his language and tried to find a trail. At the same time, Leo scanned the rest of the alley, looking behind dumpsters and trash. If Splinter was hurt, then maybe he hid somewhere until they could find him. Or maybe someone dumped his….Leo coughed. That line of thinking was quickly causing him to tear up.

In the last fourteen years, they'd only been without their father for a day or two at most. Some times he had been caught topside during the day while scavenging and he couldn't come home right away. But the thought of being without his father forever wasn't a situation he cared to contemplate. Leo glanced at Raphael and then toward the shadow where he knew his other brothers were watching. What was he going to do? He had been dubbed the eldest, but in actuality, he was basically the same age as his brothers. Could he finish raising them? Train them? Keep them safe? He wasn't Splinter. He didn't know what to do. If they couldn't find Splinter, what was going to become of them?


	4. Chapter 4

Still in a daze, Splinter followed Yoshi and Shen back into the temple. The rat's eyes flitted from one side of the corridor to the other. The footsteps of the three were nearly silent on the polished wooden floors. Only Shen's footsteps, light though they were, could be heard. Splinter took in the paintings that decorated the walls, some he vaguely recognized while others were new to him. As he walked, he brushed his hand along the wall, feeling the rough stone scrape at his palm. The brief flicker of pain he felt told him that he wasn't asleep. Even in visions he could not feel pain or see things so clearly. He hadn't ruled out the possibility that he was dead either, but could the dead feel pain? He passed a glass cabinet which held a samurai's suit of armor and stopped short with a gasp.

His reflection in the mirror of the glass! One hand went up to touch his face hesitantly. The reflection that stared back at him in wonderment was not the one that he was expecting. He looked so many years younger. He wasn't a child, of course, but he certainly wasn't the middle aged rodent that had been showing off to the turtles either. What was going on?

The corridor gave way to a large open room. A fireplace was in the corner, lit and giving heat to what would be an otherwise drafty area. In the middle was a larger table with cushions around it. Several armored suits were against the walls, as were pictures. These pictures were not landscaped paintings, but rather photographs of Shen and Yoshi. Splinter stepped away from the two humans to study the photographs.

His breath caught at several pictures of himself. There was a picture of himself, training with Yoshi in the dojo. Another picture of he and Shen working in the gardens together. His eyes went down the line of photographs and he reached out to touch one of the older photographs. He could tell it was older because he himself was far younger; perhaps not more than nine or ten years old. The young rat was deep in concentration working on kanji. Shen was standing over him, directing his hand to the proper strokes. Splinter's hand pulled back quickly like it burned him.

What in the name of all his Ancestors was going on?! He had never been a child like this!

Splinter whipped around to demand an explanation, but Yoshi was already seated on one of the cushions and Shen was pouring tea into three small cups. His words died in his throat, as he walked cautiously over to the table and took a seat across from the human male. He stared at the steaming cup and nearly flinched away when the woman sat down beside him.

"I do not understand," Splinter intoned slowly. "I remember nothing of this life you say I have lived."

Yoshi sipped from his teacup and nodded. "Before you came to be in this form, you were my pet. I kept you in a cage in my dojo, and even then I could see you were no ordinary rat. Sometimes, I would swear that you were mimicking the movements that I did. Or practicing the kata that I was teaching to the class."

Splinter glanced up from his tea. The fragrance was heavenly, but he could not bring himself to even taste it. If Yoshi or Shen noticed, they chose not to comment.

"Clan business took me to the United States. It was the first time that I met the Utrom people. I did not know it at the time but stowed away in one of my bags."

The rat's brow furrowed in confusion. No. That was not right. Splinter remembered the incident. He had only been Yoshi's pet a few short months. He was a very young rat at the time, and wanted nothing more than to explore the world outside his cage. He had tried to stow away in Yoshi's bag but Shen had found him.

"I did not know you were there, until you had somehow come into contact with the Utrom's mutagen," Yoshi continued. "You grew very large, very quickly. The Utroms were not sure what effect the mutagen would have on you and they offered to take you to their home world. But when I reached out to touch you, you grasped my hand."

Shen touched Splinter's shoulder gently. "I remember Yoshi walking into the temple carrying you and I could not believe my eyes. But when Yoshi said it seemed like you were trying to speak…" Shen's eyes became glassy at the memory.

"Does any of this sound familiar, My Son?" Yoshi asked tentatively.

Splinter shook his head, not in answer but in confusion. It made sense, if he thought about it. He was mutated much earlier in life than he remembered. It would stand to reason that he was younger. His head was swimming and throbbing from the bruise at his temple. This was all so confusing to him. He remembered his life with the turtles! But, maybe a part of him remembered this life with Yoshi and Shen as well.

Shen had stood and crossed to the far wall, taking a picture down. She brought it back and handed it to him. Splinter could only stare at it. It was a picture of a rat that Splinter could not ever remember being. The rat in the picture was probably about three or four years old. He wore a dark red kimono shirt and black pants. Blocks were scattered out in front of him, and a large tower of blocks teetered precariously in front of him. The child rat was carefully stacking another block on top, and Splinter knew that it was one block away from collapse.

"This was the first picture we took," Shen said quietly. "It was a few days after your father brought you home."

Images suddenly flashed through Splinter's mind. He could vaguely remember the first time he walked into the dojo with his father. He remembered Shen tucking him into bed and singing to him. Dinners. Birthdays. Training. Memories.

Splinter held his head suddenly and gave a brief cry, as memories and images filled his mind. His head exploded into a burst of pain. He felt hands on him, concerned voices, but he couldn't make them out. And then his world went dark.

When Splinter came to, he was back on the futon that he had woken up in previously. His father and mother were standing nearby talking with another man. The other man was a bit taller than Yoshi and more muscular, but with no hair. They were speaking in low tones, and even Splinter's sensitive hearing could not discern what they were saying. Splinter put a hand to his head, remembering the episode earlier and struggled to sit up again. The blinding pain had settled into a dull ache.

Shen was turned and was instantly at his side, putting a hand behind his back to support him. "Kakera? Thank the Ancestors. We were so worried."

"How do you feel, Son?" Yoshi asked coming to stand just behind Shen.

Splinter cleared his throat. "Better, I be..believe. What happened?"

The other man walked over to his side, his voice deep and booming. "We believe you have a concussion," he said. "From your training accident earlier."

Splinter frowned at the man, moving back away from him. He thought he recognized him, but placing the strange man was difficult and after the last episode that caused him to black out, Splinter was reluctant to try to force a memory.

A comforting hand alighted on his back as Shen gently reminded him. "Kakera, this is the Healer. He has been taking care of you nearly all your life."

The Healer bowed slightly, his piercing blue eyes somewhat strange in a room full of dark eyed people. "I have recommended to your parents that you refrain from training for at least the next week, Chunin."

The words that the Healer spoke were going over Splinter's head, as his attention was divided between the humans that were crowding around him. But it was the title that drew Splinter's complete attention to the Healer.

 _Chunin?_

A specific title designating him as heir and successor to the leadership of the clan. A title that claimed him as Hamato Yoshi's eldest son. Splinter reeled back as his mind furiously worked through the possible implications of that title. As far as he knew the Hamato Ninja Clan was defunct. It's members dead or reorganized under the rule of another. The only surviving member still in Japan was Hamato Tenchi or the Ancient One. Splinter remembered that day so long ago when he delivered Yoshi and Shen's ashes to Tenchi.

"Kakera?"

Splinter realized he had been staring at the Healer this entire time while his mind struggled to sort out the contradictions to what he _thought_ he knew. But Yoshi's quiet call to him, broke his concentration and his attention once again went to the man he knew to be dead.

Thought to be dead.

" _G..gomen_ ," Splinter cleared his throat with a bow of his head. "This is still so unfamiliar to me."

"Amnesia is not unheard of with a concussion," the Healer said. "And it is not surprising that your spirit tried to fabricate you with some sort of history to fill this void in memory while you were unconscious."

The Healer turned his attention back to Yoshi. "Try to familiarize him with his life. Pictures and stories may help to bring these memories back."

Shen looked worriedly from Splinter to Yoshi and then to the Healer.

"Will his memory ever fully return?" Yoshi asked giving voice to Shen's concerns. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Splinter watched the two interact. They seemed to communicate with shared glances and half said phrases. The mark of a man and woman who had been together for some time. He could remember the obvious love they had for one another, and it seemed time only deepened that devotion. They had fought for their love, and for their union. Hamato Yoshi was willing to sacrifice himself and the integrity of his clan to be with her.

Wait. Had that happened? Was there a rivalry between Hamato Yoshi and Oroku Nagi for the hand of Shen? Had Yoshi killed Nagi? Or was this all something his subconscious created to fill in gaps?

"We must wait and see." The Healer bowed to Yoshi. "I will return to check on him in a few days. Please call should anything happen."

Yoshi nodded and the Healer took his leave, leaving the family behind.

Shen's eyes shown as she studied Splinter and Splinter could see the unshed tears behind the look. The rat's heart caught in his throat at the love that was in her expression. It was something he had never thought he would see again. He sighed wanting nothing more than to quiet the worry behind the love.

"I am fine, _Okasaan_ ," he said quietly. "My head is far harder than any concussion."

Shen laughed abruptly. A quick chuckle that came out in an explosion of breath that she had been holding and her hand caressed his head gently, avoiding the injury. " _Hai._ You get that hard head from your father."

The rat smiled faintly, but his face flushed with pleasure at being once again referred to as Yoshi's son.

"You must be starving," Shen announced suddenly. "Perhaps some soup and rice?"

Splinter's ears perked up and swiveled toward the woman, even as his stomach growled at the thought of a meal cooked by this woman.

"I believe you have peeked his interest, Shen Love," Yoshi said with a chuckle. "Miso and rice. His favorite."

Splinter turned a quizzical expression towards Yoshi. Was it his favorite? Certainly, he had eaten bits and pieces of such a meal before his mutation. He could faintly remember the taste and his mouth nearly watered with the memory. " _Hai._ It is my favorite meal."

Shen practically radiated delight. "Perhaps your memories are beginning to return." She rose to her feet, with one more pat to his back. "Yoshi San, perhaps you can stay with him and do as the Healer suggested. The stories may help bring more memories to the surface. I will begin preparing the evening meal."

A voice interrupted the silence that followed. A high-pitched voice that got steadily louder and louder as the source grew closer and closer. "Mamaaaaa! Papaaaa!"

Splinter tensed back against the wall, fully expecting to be attacked any moment.

And he was not mistaken. A small, dark haired child of perhaps eight or nine years old sprinted into the room, and leaped past Yoshi's outstretched hand to land directly into Splinter's lap.

"Oniisan!" she greeted brightly.

Splinter's stunned expression was all the clue Yoshi and Shenneeded to see that he did not know the child.

"Kakera," Yoshi said slowly. "This is your sister. Mitsukai."

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Author's Notes:

Oniisan: Older brother

Okaasan: Mother

Gomen: I'm sorry

Chunin: The second in command of a ninja clan

Oroku Nagi was a canon character of the original comics and was the one that wanted to fight Yoshi for Shen. Saki is his younger brother. The Ancient One is a character from the 4kids series. He was never given a name so we took the liberty. Mitsukai and the Healer are completely original to me and Machias Banshee.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a struggle, but Leonardo convinced his brothers that they needed to return home and get a plan together to find Splinter. Raphael wanted to stay out looking, but with Donatello's help, Leo was able to make him see that they really had no idea where to start looking. They had scouted around the alley ways and buildings near where they had last seen Splinter, but finding nothing, they were running blind. Raphael had been able to follow the blood trail for about two blocks before it had disappeared. The brothers had a general direction for which way their Sensei had went, but nothing else.

"Maybe he hit his head and has amnesia," Mikey speculated walking into their lair. He had stuck particularly close to Don as they made their way home. Raph was angry and Leo was on edge. Neither seemed to be interested in providing comfort or assurance to the younger turtle.

"If he did, then he had enough sense about him to hide," Don said. "And if Sensei doesn't want to be found, he won't be."

Mike wrung his hands together anxiously. "But if he's hiding, how will we find him?"

It was a question that none of the brothers could possibly answer. They all stood in the middle of their living room, looking from one to the other hoping someone would have an idea.

Don rubbed the back of his head. "I'm going to check the police scanners and radio frequencies. Maybe someone has reported an unusual…animal…around the streets."

Finally! An idea from someone. Donatello hurried into his lab space to start checking his computer. Mike watched his two oldest brothers for a moment. Raphael was practically shaking with pent up anger, and he knew it was only a matter of time before that anger found an outlet. Chances were, it was going to be…

"I can't fuckin believe you made me leave before I could pick up the trail again!" Raph raged, spinning around to glare at the oldest.

…on Leo.

Leo frowned. "I wanted to keep looking too, Raph, but the trail had gone cold! We spent an hour trying to pick it up again. We had to get back here and make a plan."

Raph took a step closer to him, ducking his chin and balling up his fists. "We find Splinter! That's the plan!"

"Great plan, Raph," Leo responded sarcastically. "How do you suppose we go about doing it? Do you have a mutant rat locator I don't know about? Or some kind of tracker imbedded in Splinter's ear that we can follow?"

The snarky tone did not help Raphael's temper and he had to stop himself from actually taking a swing at his older brother. "Aint seeing a better idea comin from you, _Big Brother_. Where's this great plan you were gonna come up with?"

Mike chewed on his lower lip watching them, and just decided not to intervene. More and more, Leo and Raph argued over the stupidest of things. And now? When the situation was serious? They still argued. The youngest turtle slipped away to follow Don into his lab. It would probably be safer there and maybe he could be of some use.

Leo inhaled slowly and then let it out. He made a conscious effort to relax his stance, and not further antagonize Raphael. A memory rose into his mind from just a month ago.

 _Splinter had given Leonardo a turn at being the leader of a "mission." Their Sensei had hidden a flag somewhere in the sewers and it was up to the brothers to find the flag without alerting Splinter to their presence or before time had expired. If they succeeded, their prize would be one whole weekend off and unlimited time on television, games or whatever their individual hobbies were. If they failed, it was a weekend of team building exercises, complete with strengthening drills, kata, and any other things their Sensei could come up with to torture them._

 _It was a good reason to make sure they succeeded._

 _Leo carefully divided his brothers according to their respective strengths. Raphael could track down the trail that Splinter had surely left for them to follow. Donatello could use some of his motion trackers to keep an eye out for the ninja master once they got closer. And Mike was the quickest and most agile so it would be his job to actually get the flag. If Splinter was nearby, Leo, Don and Raph would distract him._

 _The turtle in blue nodded to himself. It was a good plan. He gathered his troops at the entrance to their lair and started to go over the plan._

" _Oh yeh," Mike crowed with a fist pump. "I get to be the flag getter! In your face, Raph. Leo thinks I'm the best ninja."_

" _I didn't say that, Mikey," Leo responded diplomatically. "But you are the fastest…"_

 _Leo's diplomacy hadn't helped ease Raphael's ego and he made sure his eldest brother knew there was a problem with how he mapped out his strategy. "He might be faster, but he's a frickin klutz. He'll probably trip over water and blow the whole thing before we even find the flag."_

" _HA! This mission calls for finesse, Raphie Boy," Mike argued. "And that's me. You can't go all '_ RAPH SMASH' _…" Here, Mike did his best imitation of_ The Hulk _, complete with flexing and facial expressions. "…and expect to win against Sensei."_

 _Don checked his stopwatch and looked over to Leo. It seemed like his brother and current leader was rapidly losing control. He tried to help by bringing everyone back on track. "We've already wasted five minutes. That leaves us another fifteen. If you guys want to beat Sensei, then we'd better listen to Leo and get a move on."_

 _Leo tried not to panic. That wasn't good. Five minutes already gone? The plan shouldn't have taken longer than a minute or two to explain. He was already behind. "We still follow MY plan, Guys."_

" _Yeh but it just aint YOUR tail on the line if we lose, Leo," Raph snorted. "I don't want to spend a whole weekend…"_

 _Leo didn't let him finish. It was time to exert his leadership over this team. Hell, this time even Sensei said he was leader. The turtle in blue drew himself up to his full height which was just about four inches above his red banded brother. "MY plan, Raph. Let's go."_

 _In retrospect, Leo should have known better than to think a power play would get his brother back in line and follow him. Raphael didn't respond to the "I'm the leader" line, no matter if Sensei was the one to appoint him leader or not. Raph had his own ideas, and Raph usually thought his ideas were better. If you didn't agree, well, he just set out to prove you wrong._

 _Everything had gone according to plan right up until the point they'd located the flag and Sensei. He was in one of the farther tunnels from their lair that the boys had been able to explore. The water in the channel was a run off from all the rain, and while not drinkable, the boys had splashed around in the water when they were younger. Splinter was sitting high on ledge, and the flag was on the opposite side of the tunnel. There was no way Splinter didn't already know they were there. In order for Mike to get the flag, a diversion was needed._

 _A smoke bomb thrown high above Splinter would give them a bit of cover. Leo, Raph and Don could engage Splinter in battle. Leo knew that it usually took about thirty seconds for Sensei to beat all three of them. Plenty of time for Mike to make a grab for the flag._

 _However, this time, Raph was not leaving his potential free weekend in the hands of his baby brother. When Leo called the attack, Raph broke away from the team and raced Mikey for the flag._

" _RAPH!" Leo yelled for his brother._

 _Down an extra man, and their strongest ninja, Don and Leo were defeated soundly in less than half the time Leo had calculated. Neither Mike or Raph made it to the flag before Splinter leaped across the channel to take out the two of them as well. Mike hit the sewer floor hard with a grunt and Raphael was thrown into the channel. Thank Kami it was a rain run off and not actual sewage. Come to think of it, Splinter had probably planned for that ahead of time anticipating at least one of his sons would end up in the channel._

 _Defeated and disappointed, the brothers knelt before their Sensei in the dojo so that he could talk to them about their unsuccessful mission._

" _It's RAPH'S fault!" Leo sputtered. "He didn't listen. He didn't follow my plan. If he had done what I said…"_

 _Splinter held up a paw and Leo choked back what he had been about to say. Shame and anger colored his face, but he wasn't going to take the blame for failure when it was clearly Raph's fault._

 _For his part, Raphael was also blushing badly. He had screwed up, but he wasn't about to let Leo know that. Bad enough that his two youngest brothers were glaring at him too, obviously putting all the blame on him._

" _You were leader, My Son," Splinter told Leo calmly. "If your team refused to follow your lead, that is your responsibility. Not the team's."_

 _Leo's jaw dropped and tears sprung to his eyes. This was so unfair. How can he be blamed when Raphael refused to obey? "How can I be leader when the team refuses to follow?"_

 _At that, Splinter gave a small smile. "That, Leonardo, is not the problem. The question you should ask is, how can a leader ensure that his team follows him?"_

The weekend training had been brutal. Leo wasn't sure it had been punishment for his failure as leader and punishment for Raphael's disobedience or if Splinter wanted to make sure the brothers were too tired to fight about it. The two younger turtles had been caught in the middle the entire weekend and in the end, there was an unspoken agreement to just forget the whole thing. Nothing got resolved.

But Leonardo had spent months meditating on the question Splinter had posed. How did he get Raphael to follow him, when Raphael clearly had it in his mind that he wasn't going to? Unfortunately, he never came up with an answer.

Now, Splinter was gone and there was a real emergency. Leo knew needed to rally the brothers to work together and that included Raphael. He slowly opened his eyes and nodded.

Trying to speak calmly, but without sounding patronizing was going to be tough. "Raph, I want to go look for Sensei too. But Mikey was going to start panicking and Donnie has his computers to try to track other leads. We can't…"

Leo dropped his voice to a conspiratorial tone. "We have to keep our heads about us and not go off half-cocked, otherwise we are going to scare our little brothers and one of them are going to get hurt."

Appealing to his brother's protective nature as well as their unofficial status as the "A Team" seemed to be a better way to go about getting Raphael's cooperation. Raph's eyes narrowed a bit as if trying to decipher whether or not Leo was being straightforward. His breathing gradually slowed and finally with a huff, he nodded.

"Right. So, we got'em occupied. So you and me go look?"

Leo opened his mouth to reject the idea out of hand, but he forced himself to pause as if considering it. Then, he really did consider it. Could he leave his younger brothers in the lair while he and Raphael searched? He knew right away how Don and Mike would feel about that.

"No," Leo said finally. "If we leave them here, they may just follow us. We need a map. We can start with the place where you lost the trail and start looking for any abandoned buildings that Sensei might hide if he'd been hurt."

"And if someone took him?" Raph asked but for once he was cooling the attitude.

Leo's eyes narrowed and for the first time in his life, Raphael thought he looked dangerous. "Then we show them no mercy."


End file.
